dreams

there are certain circumstances that produce very vivid dreams.

when i am sick
when i am in some sort of very emotional situation and i am aware
" " and i am not aware
when i haven't been able to fall asleep and finally do, very deeply, for like 5 hours.
in this situation, it's 1, 2, and 4.

Dream #1 Wednesday (12/30/09) into Thursday (12/31/09)

Details: I don't really remember the little details of this one, but i'm pretty sure it was set in the funeral home that was featured in a ghost hunters episode i watched recently. well, now it's a museum, but it used to be a funeral home (and before that, an episcopal church). i was really emotional and scared, and there was some guy speaking solemnly. my youngest brother, andy, was supposedly the one he was talking about...but he was still alive. from what i gathered, andy had some disease and needed to be cremated. and so he was. so he was cremated alive.

Reasons: well, like i said, the setting was strikingly familiar to a place in ghost hunters. as to why andy had to be cremated (technically burned alive) i recently read an article about how humanity's abuse of vaccines has allowed for strains of viruses and diseases to come about that cannot be simply cured or wiped out. (there's a word for it, but i can't remember) there was some guy in florida or something that got a deadly strain of tuberculosis (which was supposedly wiped out in the 20th century) and there are a few more cases like him in the world. i guess andy got one of those diseases. i also didn't fall asleep until around 2 am, and i woke up suddenly around 4 am, checked my phone, then realized that no one was going to text me at that hour. i blew my nose like 5 times, coughed like i had emphysema, then i fell back asleep and that's when the dream happened. i woke up around 9:30.

Dream #2 Thursday (12/31/09) into Friday (1/1/10)

Details: There was this kid i graduated with in 8th grade, Raymond. I don't even know him all that well, but random people like that always make their way into my dreams. in my dream, he wrote me some letter. or rather, he sent me a survey (facebook/myspace kinda survey) about me filled out by him. odd. the dream had an almost bittersweet feeling to it. like, "this guy loves me, but...i am indifferent. i can't help it." something like that. i almost want to say that i wanted to love him, but just couldn't.

Reasons: not sure why ray was in my dream, but i think i came across his facebook not too long ago. i think in this dream, it's influenced by those "she loves me, but i just can't return it..." situations that i see all the time. i don't even know if that is how people feel, but maybe this was my subconcious trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, to rationalize.

ah.