KP

there's a saying that we need to be comfortable in our own skin. yeah well, that's impossible for me, in every way. i have this skin condition, keratosis pilaris. it sounds serious, but it's pretty common and often goes unnoticed or is mistaken for eczema. it's when this structural protein, keratin, is over-produced and then builds up in skin. it causes all these little bumps to form around hair follicles. mine in particular is called keratosis pilaris rubra- it's red, it's itchy, it's gross. i mean, i don't ooze or anything. but people who brush up against me for the first time often recoil and say "Ew, what's wrong with your skin?" or they comment that i must be cold (KP looks like goose bumps). it's just something i have to deal with and people have to get used to.

today in the shower, i had to shave. for most girls, it's an annoying process, but a neccessity. for me, it fucking hurts. my legs are covered in KP bumps, and i'd rather feel like my skin is on fire than be hairy. plus, it kind of clears a few layers of dry, dead skin. but oh my god, it hurts. there will be blood droplets all over my thighs because little bumps are decapitated by the razor. not to mention the fact they my skin is just ugly feeling and looking no matter what.

i just want it to go away. but there's not cure. i mean, i moisturize like a beast, but there's only so much i can do. it just really bothers me.

in addition, my entire body is dry. my hands were destroyed by all the balloons i tied yesterday. i have cuts all over my fingers. it's just a bad season for my skin.